
- 20 May 2025
- Clara Pembroke
- Sexual Wellness
Ever noticed that some conversations are whispered and giggled about, but rarely discussed with real detail? Oral sex definitely lands on that list, which is a bit of a shame. There’s a surprising amount of research and advice out there, but most folks are still stuck in the same old routines. Ready for a real talk about positions that might honestly blow your mind (or your partner’s)? We’re tossing away the awkwardness and getting right into what brings serious pleasure—because, honestly, pleasure deserves a front seat. Let's break down some of the most effective, practical, and fun oral sex moves that'll work whether you’re looking to crank up the heat in a long-term relationship or trying something new after a few dates. Think of this as your behind-closed-doors cheat sheet.
Why Oral Sex Positions Matter: Breaking the Taboo, Boosting Connection
Oral sex isn’t just about one person “pleasing” another. It's a two-way street full of possibilities for connection, trust, and, let’s admit it, a lot of grinning satisfaction. When you find the right oral sex positions for you and your partner, it can be downright transformative. Most people, according to a big UK sexual wellbeing study in 2023, said that good oral increased their emotional bond and trust with their partner—while about 48% claimed it helped them communicate desires without feeling awkward. Let’s get one thing straight: there’s no one-size-fits-all solution here. Everyone’s anatomy is a little different, everyone’s turn-ons are unique, and what works for your friends may leave you bored or uncomfortable. The best positions are the ones that make you both feel sexy, comfortable, and in control of your pleasure.
Why should you care about switching things up? For starters, endless repetition is the enemy of desire. Experts (yes, those ones who study sex for a living at universities you’ve heard of) haven’t just documented the physical pleasure but also the way novelty ramps up dopamine—the lovely rush of happiness and excitement. So even if you’ve got a go-to move that’s never failed you, sprinkling in some fresh positions keeps things from feeling stale. It’s also about accessibility; certain moves work better for folks with back, neck, or mobility issues, and the right angle can make a world of difference for mutual comfort. There’s also the psychological thrill: swapping the same old routine for something a bit cheekier can turn a regular Tuesday into, well, something memorable.
Let’s not forget that consent and communication are at the heart of all this. These positions aren’t here as a checklist to accomplish but as conversation starters. Ever sat at the kitchen table chatting about life and then suddenly realised it’s the perfect moment to ask, ‘Want to try something a bit wild later?’ That’s the magic. Open, relaxed talk about wants, needs, and hard limits—plus a few laughs if things get awkward—is where genuine chemistry starts. And if you want cold, hard evidence that trying new things pays off, there’s data: couples who regularly discuss their sexual likes and dislikes report up to 58% higher satisfaction than those who don’t (according to 2023 research from the University of Exeter).
The Best Oral Sex Positions to Maximize Your Pleasure
This is where we get down to business. The right oral sex position can be the difference between an ‘eh, that was nice’ and the kind of mind-body melting pleasure folks write songs about. Ready to rethink your habits? Here are some of the best oral sex positions, each with particulars, perks, and tips that might just get you adding something new to your repertoire tonight.
- Classic Face-to-Face (Receiver Lying Back): Probably the most common, and for good reason. The receiver lies on their back, legs apart, and the giver kneels between them. This position offers maximum control for both people—eye contact for extra intimacy, or usable hands to tease other body zones. The key here is support: pop a pillow under the receiver’s hips to tilt the pelvis and make things even tastier. Astonishingly, a survey from Lovehoney showed nearly 62% of respondents said this is their go-to for clitoral stimulation.
- Mutual Oral: 69: The notorious classic that gets a lot of talk, but isn’t always everyone’s favourite. Here, both of you face opposite directions and perform oral simultaneously—either lying side by side or with one on top. What’s great is the mutual pleasure; downside is, it can be distracting trying to focus on giving and receiving at the same time. Some people swear by the side-to-side variant, as it allows for easier breathing and access. A simple tip: communicate if you want to shift the focus or slow down, since it’s easy to get overwhelmed here.
- Sitting on the Edge: The receiver sits on the edge of a bed or sturdy surface, the giver kneels or sits on the floor. This takes pressure off the giver’s neck and back and gives the receiver a sense of control. It’s also perfect for anyone struggling with flexibility or fatigue. Bonus points if you keep your feet on the giver’s shoulders—trust me, it heightens the vibe and offers much-needed stability for both people.
- Standing Oral: The receiver stands, the giver kneels or crouches. Feels more risqué, and yes, it can get steamy fast. The downside: longer periods can be uncomfortable, so it often works best mixed into a ‘greatest hits’ lineup. Many people use a wall for support to keep things from toppling over. Little-known fact: this one’s a big favourite in hotel bedrooms, where the risk of getting caught adds a secret thrill.
- Reverse Oral: Instead of face-to-face, the receiver lies on their stomach. The giver has access from behind. This amplifies pressure and sensation for some people, while others love the power dynamic. It’s especially popular for rimming (analingus) if you’re feeling adventurous, and you can spice things up by dragging hands along your partner’s back, legs, or bum to add a full-body element.
- Pillow Play: This isn’t one position but a trick that changes every position—strategically placed pillows, wedge cushions, or yoga bolsters make almost every position more comfortable and pleasurable by improving angles and taking pressure off limbs and necks. A 2022 study out of King’s College London found that using positioning aids led to significantly higher rates of orgasm comfort across all genders.
- Face-Sitting/Queening: The receiver straddles the giver’s chest or face. Maximum control for the receiver, who can guide movements and pressure. The giver can use their hands to support thighs or hips, and both can use safe words or taps for quick communication. If you’re shy about this one, remember that upright angles often make oral easier and more effective. It’s wildly popular in erotica for a reason.
Curious how all these compare? Here’s a quick table to break down which position might fit your needs.
Position | Best For | Comfort Level | Extra Tip |
---|---|---|---|
Receiver Lying Back | Easy access, eye contact | High | Use a pillow under hips |
69 (Parallel) | Mutual pleasure | Medium | Try side-by-side for easier breathing |
Sitting on Edge | Accessibility, extended play | Very High | Hands on shoulders for balance |
Standing | Quickies, spontaneity | Low | Lean on wall for support |
Reverse Oral | Intensity, new sensations | Medium | Full body touch maximises effect |
Face-Sitting | Control, dominant energy | Depends | Agree on safe signals first |

Expert Tips for Best Oral Sex: Sensation, Technique, and Communication
You can master every position in the Kama Sutra, but if your technique is off or the vibe is tense, pleasure nosedives. The secret? A combo of enthusiastic communication, mindfulness, and just the right level of experimentation. Here are some tips that’ve come straight from sex educators, therapists, and, well, plenty of real-life folks here in Brighton.
- Slow down to speed up. It’s easy to think faster is better, but nerves aren’t that simple. For clitoral and penile stimulation, tease, lick, and pause: let anticipation build. That “tease” effect boosts blood flow and nerve sensitivity.
- Mix up your rhythm. Even the best move loses power with repetition. Use hands, tongues, lips, and sometimes even a cool breath or a moan. This keeps your partner on their toes and guessing in a good way.
- Bring in toys. No shame in using a small bullet vibrator, finger vibe, or cock ring to add extra sensation during oral. Water-based lube? A game-changer! It reduces friction and makes everything glidey and soft.
- Keep chatting (if you want or need to). No, talking isn’t a mood-killer; sometimes, it’s the hottest thing. A quick “Does that feel good?” or “Want it softer/harder/faster?” can be way more effective than guessing for twenty minutes.
- Pace yourselves. Most givers burn out their jaws and necks by going too long at the start. Take it easy, change angles, and shift tasks if you need to. Remember: changing position can be as arousing as changing pace!
One more thing the experts stress: confidence really matters. You don’t need to pull off anything wild to be a good lover, just to be present, eager, and willing to learn. According to Dr. Emily Morse, a well-known sex educator, self-consciousness and anxiety are the biggest pleasure blockers. So if you’re still working up the courage to try something new, share that with your partner. You’ll likely get encouragement—and maybe a few giggles if things go differently than planned.
Oh, and if you’re interested in the stats: the Journal of Sexual Medicine published that 72% of people experience stronger orgasms with oral compared to penetrative sex alone, provided there was pre-discussion and mutual consent. Just goes to show what a little thoughtful prep can do.
Ready to Spice Up Your Routine? Safe, Consent-Driven Fun Awaits
All positions are off the menu unless you’re both actively into them. Let’s keep it real: caring about each other's safety, boundaries, and enthusiasm isn’t “less sexy”—it’s the hottest foundation you can give your sex life. Here are a few essentials to keep yourselves confident and safe:
- Safe words aren’t only for “extreme” play—agree on a word or gesture that means “pause” or “stop.” Speaking up mid-session is normal and encouraged.
- If you use dental dams, condoms, or barriers (especially for new partners or rimming), stash them in an easy-to-reach spot. It’s no less sexy to be prepared—in fact, a 2023 YouGov survey reported that 79% of people found willingness to use protection very sexy in a new partner.
- Take your time to check in if anything feels off—never ignore pain, numbness, or rush through discomfort.
- Wash up before and after, especially if you plan on switching between anal and vaginal play.
- Never pressure yourself or a partner into a position that doesn’t feel right, whatever the movies say.
The real key to maximising pleasure with oral sex positions is giving yourself permission to be curious, honest, and playful. So when you’re ready, take that conversation from this article and bring it to the bedroom—or the living room, or the shower, or wherever you feel boldest. You never know what new favourite you’ll discover when you swap routine for exploration. If you’re ever unsure, remember: you’re absolutely allowed to laugh, experiment, and say “well, maybe not again” after trying something once. The adventure is half the fun.